


4 Times Smiley Almost Made the Temple Guard Laugh and the 1 Time He Did

by xamuletx



Series: A Temple Guard [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, be prepared, really bad jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-19 12:08:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13704159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xamuletx/pseuds/xamuletx
Summary: exactly what it says on the tin





	4 Times Smiley Almost Made the Temple Guard Laugh and the 1 Time He Did

 

1.

Smiley couldn't say much about their new guest, they were silent and distant and ever so slightly intimidating (not that he'd ever admit it). They just hung around in the background, never drew attention to themselves and followed orders unless it interfered with their initial instructions. The only thing Smiley really knew was that the Generals called him “Cato”, so that's what everyone referred to him as. Not that they had much opportunity to do so.

He watched as the Guard walked out of the Medic’s tent, where their injured were being taken care of. There was that too, Smiley remembered. Cato would often go and sit with the wounded and slowly take away their pain, some trick of the Force but only with the men's clear consent. Apparently it was frowned upon within the Jedi ranks to do so without permission which Smiley could understand, although it wouldn't have bothered him too much if Cato took away his troubles without consulting him first.

Now, their guest had settled into a kneeling position next to their heater. “Their”s being the group of clones on sentry duty. The other’s quietened as the Guard took up his kneeling position but conversation started up again quick enough, as though they’d never been interrupted.

Smiley turned to the brother next to him, a shiny without a name yet, and decide they were way too serious.

“Hey, why do SCUBA troopers fall backwards out of the ships?” He asked, a manic grin on his face.

Before the other could answer a voice shouted over, “Smiley! I hope you’re not terrorising the poor kid.”

It caused the area to fall quiet again and he replied with an easy, “Don’t worry, this is one of my better ones.” He turned back to the shiny, “So, why do SCUBA troopers fall backwards out of the ships?”

The kid stuttered, “I don’t know- I wasn’t trained--”

But before he could finish, Smiley interrupted, “Because if they fell forward they’d still be on the ship!”

The clones surrounding them let out exaggerated groans, a couple laughing at the shiny’s expense. However, Smiley, even though he too was caught up in the raucous laughter, could have sworn that the Temple Guard to his right let out a choked off coughing noise. He watched him, ignoring his other brothers’ jabs at him but Cato was silent now, no indication that his stony disposition had broken for a second there. It was then that he realised that the Guard had tilted his head toward him slightly and that he’d been caught staring. It didn’t bother him though, Smiley took Cato’s lack of reaction for a challenge and he smiled back at the mask, confident that he’d get him laughing properly.

 

2.

It was weird, despite the fact that the ‘cruisers had a limited amount of space, sometimes it appeared as though Cato had vanished off the ship. Smiley would know, he’s been looking out for him in the hopes of getting him with another joke but he’s been unsuccessful. And then other times, it’s like you can’t not notice him. Maybe it’s a Jedi trick, to make himself invisible to those around him. If he does do that, Cato has perfected it.

He’s walking as part of a patrol down one of the corridors on the ship and Cato comes round the corner up ahead and starts making his way down towards them. Smiley can’t pass up this opportunity even though he’s probably going to get wrong, so he says, “What’s blue and smells like red paint?”

His brothers titter and grumble but the Sergeant with a dangerous look in his eyes, replies, “What, Smiley?”

Cato is walking past them when Smiley answers, “Blue paint.”

His patrol groan and shove at him, telling him to shut up but he’s only got eyes for the Temple Guard’s reaction which was a slight stumble to his otherwise graceful stride. Cato doesn’t turn around but the clone trooper counts it as a success anyway and even though he’s about to get ripped into by his Sergeant, Smiley’s thoughts are occupied with the next joke.

 

3.

It’s the first time Smiley has seen Cato in action, like proper droid-destroying action, and honestly, the clone is in awe. The Temple Guard moves like he’s walking on air, so unlike Kenobi and Skywalker, hell even Commander Tano has nothing on Cato right now. He’d leapt to their rescue as they were just about to be overwhelmed by ambushing droids and after a quick order to stay put behind cover, Cato had vaulted himself back into the midst of the droids and wasted no time in slicing them to pieces, deflecting blaster bolts back to their sources and removing the threat quite thoroughly.

When he’s finished, he stands amid the droid parts, shoulders rising and falling with his breath. Smiley looks over his cover and to no one in particular says, “Where did the droids go when the Jedi came?”

“Where?” A brother, he’s not sure who, replies in the silence.

“Everywhere.”

It breaks the tension and his brothers laugh and start moving again now that there’s no threat. Smiley thinks he’s finally got him when Cato groans but all thought of the joke leaves his mind when the Guard staggers with a hand to his side. With his beige and cream robes it’s startling obvious to see the charred hole and then crimson red of blood beginning to seep into the fabric. It’s a blur after he shouts for a medic and rushes towards Cato. It’s only hours later where he contemplates his next joke.

 

4.

Cato’s been called back to Coruscant so Smiley decides that the next best thing is Saint, a brother that’s gotten particularly close with the Temple Guard. He corners him in the mess sitting by himself, which if Smiley thinks about too much is really sad, and throws himself down next to his brother.

“Hey, Saint. How’ve you been?” He starts but his brother is quick to shrug him off.

“What do you want?”

Looking at his unimpressed glare has Smiley re-evaluating and he decides to just be honest with him, “Can you tell Cato a joke from me?”

Saint facepalms and drags his hand down, “Oh dear Jango, you’re the one who’s been telling him jokes?!”

“Wait, how do you know?”

“Because he doesn’t bloody shut up about them.” Saint sighs before going back to scooping food into his mouth.

“Really?” Smiley takes the time to be proud of himself, he finally has confirmation that he’s been getting to the Jedi. He’s only snapped out of it when he realises that Saint is levelling him with a thoroughly annoyed look and quickly adds, “Will you send him a joke though?”

His brother rolls his eyes and shakes his head ever so slightly but says, “Fine. What is it?”

“What was a more important invention than the first radio? The second one.”

Saint snorts, “Alright, I’ll see what he thinks of it.”

\-----

Later, after a skirmish that was practically cadet’s-play, his brother approaches him to say, “He loved it, by the way.” Smiley tells himself that he’s going to have to step his game up.

 

+1.

It’s a mirror of when Smiley first committed himself to making Cato laugh, he and his brothers sitting around a portable heater. They’re on sentry duty again but this time Saint is here and Cato’s sitting in a more casual position, and if they’re sitting closer than what’s perhaps strictly necessary, Smiley’s not going to say anything. This, he thinks, is the prime time for unleashing his best joke yet, the most hilarious one yet.

“Saint? Knock, knock.” He begins.

His brother looks up, sighing, “Who’s there?”

“Banana.”  
“Banana who?”

“Knock knock.” Smiley restarts.

Saint looks momentarily confused but goes along with it, “Who’s there?”

“Banana.”

“Banana who?”

“Knock knock.”

Saint takes a deep breath, “Who’s there?”

“Banana.”

“Banana who?”

“Knock knock.”

By this time, there’s a couple brothers sniggering and Saint looks about ready to go flying at Smiley but it’s Cato’s hand on his shoulder that stops him. Eventually Saint answers through gritted teeth, “Who’s there?”

“Orange.”

“Orange who?!” Saint nearly screams in frustration.

“Orange-you glad I didn’t say banana?”

The confused look is back and Smiley can see a couple other brothers with their heads tilted in thought. It only takes a couple seconds but he sees Saint mouth “Orange-you glad….” and then his brother his brother is flipping him the bird and growling in annoyance. His other brothers catch on as well and start chuckling in exasperation.

Watching Cato, Smiley thinks he’s failed and so resigns himself to thinking up a new joke but then to his amazement he sees his shoulders start shaking and, if he wasn’t so elated, Smiley would be concerned about the wheezing sound he’s making. And then, the thing he’s been waiting for, Cato starts laughing bending in on himself as he wraps his arms around his middle. It’s honestly joyful and Smiley can’t help the grin that splits his face at the unrestricted show of happiness. His brothers around him look up at the Jedi’s laugh and start laughing to, caught up in the infectious giggling. It’s the best achievement he’s gotten to date and better than any promotion he may get. For a moment, he can forget about the war and revel in the pleasure he’s brought to the stony Temple Guard.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed :D I'd say sorry for the jokes but I honestly found them hilarious


End file.
